New to seeing providers? It's all good! Here's how to make a good impression from the start.
Many providers, myself included, have specific steps that we request you follow in order to submit an initial inquiry with us. This is partially for our safety, and partially just for the sake of convenience– everyone’s got their own system of organization, right? I know what info I need, and if you’re able to provide all of it in as tidy a package as possible, as early in the game as possible, we can move along to the fun part much more quickly and easily. Thankfully, it’s not rocket science, and usually only involves a bit of reading on your part.
If you're too lazy to do the reading...well, then so am I.
If you’ve texted me and not heard back, the first thing to do is examine your own text. I spell it out quite clearly what I would like your initial contact to include. If all you sent me was “Hey beautiful,” or “How are you, gorgeous?” or “QV luv?” or “U avail?” or (my favorite 🙄) “BBBJ?”…simply put, do not expect a reply from me. It’s already abundantly clear that you haven’t taken any time to read over any of the information that I have taken the time to provide, so I think it’s only fair to expect the same degree of effort from me. It takes time and money to make a website. It takes effort to compile helpful information. And prospective clients who actually take the time to become informed automatically get points from me. If you’re wanting to see me, then you’re wanting to see an ex-English teacher and librarian…in short, someone who appreciates folks who take the time to read the damn directions.
I'm not looking for your life story.
That’s not to say that I’m not interested in you– on the contrary, I very much enjoy getting to know my clients. But only once they are actually my clients. I tweeted recently-ish about just how simple a text exchange should be for an initial inquiry, and it still baffles me just how complicated some people seem to think they need to make it. Basically, this is an ideal text exchange inquiry:
That’s it! That’s all it needs to be. (And no, you do not need to look like Ryan Reynolds. But kudos if you do!) We will definitely be able to get to know each other better as we chat in person (don’t forget that I meet all new clients for a little while in the public area of my building first, anyway) but this isn’t a Bumble “are we compatible?” conversation. It’s not a shoot-the-shit type of exchange. If you’ve got specific wants or inclinations that you’d like to know if I can accommodate, that’s fine. Please feel free to ask. But if you’d like to just get to know me a bit, or you want to discuss your particular kinks in more depth, I’m going to recommend you call my NiteFlirt line– then we can shoot the shit anytime you like for as long as you like, or even set up a Skype call independently and pay my CashApp– but you can’t just keep sending text after text to ask me my favorite pizza toppings while you eat up my time for free. That’s a good way to get labeled as annoying before I’ve even met you, and those clients don’t tend to fare well.
*Side note that, if it sounds mercenary to you to expect someone to pay to talk to me extensively…well, that’s because this is my job. And while you might not be one of them, there are some people who literally get their rocks off by seeing just how much of a sex worker’s time they can get away with wasting. If you don’t believe me, try my job for a week and see how many times it happens. I’m here to tell you that it’s a problem. And you can tell me you’re not that person until you’re blue in the face, but I don’t know you, so I’m not going to take your word for it. Sorry not sorry. If you want a significant amount of my time, it is very much FOR SALE.
What about once I'm booked?
Once you’re booked, you can think about showing up like you would for a first date– in that you want to make a good first impression, NOT in any sense like we’re dating. But do all things you would normally do for a first date– be freshly showered (and wash ALL your nooks and crannies and crevices!), wear deodorant, be on time, communicate if something happens that is going to change your ETA…all those basic things. Then, just try to relax. I’m very accustomed to new clients being extremely nevous– I’m talking, like, hands shaking– and I will do my level best to put you at ease and make you comfortable. Don’t feel like there’s any pressure for you to perform in ANY way. You’re paying for my time, and I’m happy to give it to you; you have nothing to prove to me. If you’re struggling with some anxiety that’s making it challenging for you, it’s okay. Some people do much better the second time around, after they know what (and whom) to expect, and that’s fine. Be open to that possibility. One good resource I can offer is from a site where I list called Tryst. They have a Good Client Guide with all kinds of helpful articles, some of which are applicable to me, and some of which are not because (say it with me!) I do not offer full service. But either way, exposing yourself to the information therein will only make you a more informed (and therefore better) client to any sort of sex worker, whether it’s me or someone else.
Also, be aware that my routine involves using those pads that you sit on when they’ve got you on the table at the doctor’s office. It’s not anything personal, it’s just an issue of hygiene. I like to keep the plush surfaces clean, and to do that, I simply keep them covered when they’re going to be touching bare skin or are at risk of being otherwise soiled. Please cooperate accordingly and, if you decide to reposition yourself, be sure to reposition the pad as well.
Tipping the scales
I’m aware that I don’t come cheap. I do try to offer some discounts for birthdays and regulars and such, but I’m definitely a luxury service. I’m priced accordingly, and I know it, so tips/gifts/gratuity are by no means an expectation or a requirement. But that is NOT to say that they are not always appreciated most sincerely. If you want to show up with a pair of red soles for me to parade around in while you watch (or leave marks on your chest with), I would be tickled pink to take those lovelies home with me. If you leave my studio feeling the best you’ve felt in ages and happen to have some extra cash that you’d like to leave on the table in a show of appreciation, I can assure you the appreciation is reciprocated. But if you’ve saved up for months for your session and anything extra is just not an option, I totally get it. I find my job immensely rewarding, so I’m an equally happy girl just to hear about your experience or read a glowing review.
Anything else?
Did I miss something you’re dying to know about? Please feel free to ask in the comments! Who knows- I may even decide to add it to the article text, but at the very least I will do my best to respond and get your question answered. Thanks for being curious!