I get it. There are a lot of scammers out there, and you’re concerned as to whether or not you’re communicating with a legit provider or just some asshole who wants to take your money and run. But if you do just a liiiiittle bit of leg work, it’s really not that difficult to tell with a decent degree of certainty if someone is who they claim to be. Here’s how.
Liars and scammers and trolls, oh my!
You’ll notice, if you’ve done any reading on my site (and if you’re reading this right now, I’m assuming you have…) that I have some strict screening policies. This, to me, is a no-brainer. If I’m going to allow a stranger into my private space, I’m going to need to know a bit about them for the sake of my own safety. There is no such thing in my world as an anonymous client. If you have a need to remain anonymous from me, you need to see someone else. I need to know who my clients are. And frankly, I prefer it that way for reasons beyond just my safety. I like getting to know my clients. It’s an intimate and vulnerable thing to share your fetishes with another person, and I like to be able to be supportive. That’s challenging if I don’t know anything about you other than the fact that you like my feet.
We live in a world where, sadly, predators exist. People who actually have ill intent to the extent that they want to cause you bodily harm, or people who just want to take advantage of you. And–you might not know this since you’re likely not one of these twats yourself– there are lots of people out there who literally get off on seeing just how much of a provider’s time they can waste without paying for it. They have no intention of actually booking, they just want attention, so they just ask endless questions to see how far they can push. It’s irritating, and it’s why some providers have fairly strict boundaries.
But I digress, methinks, so let me bring it back: yes, you as the client are at risk of predation yourself, so yes, you should be doing a bit of your own screening as the client, as well. No, a provider is likely not going to give you their real name (and asking for it is a good way to end your session early), but you can at least see what other resources they offer to allow you to get to know them a bit. The more they make available to you, the more confident you can be that they’re probably not out to steal your wallet.
Good signs
If a provider has a pretty sizeable online footprint, that’s a good sign. If you can visit multiple social media sites and find that they have consistent information, and (even better) engage with their followers, there’s a pretty good chance you’re not looking at a bot or a scammer. For example, you can find me on Twitter (it’ll always be Twitter to me, sorry Elon), FetLife, and Reddit (although I’m not as active there as I used to be), as well as paid fan sites like OnlyFans and Fansly, multiple escort directory sites, and wishlist sites. And they all link to each other. And I’ve maintained a presence there for over a year now. (That’s not to say that someone with less history is automatically shady–we all had to start somewhere, myself included–but it’s something to be more wary of.)
This blog, in fact, is just another way for me to prove my legitimacy, for anyone who cares to read it. It gives you a chance to get a feel for my voice and personality, and if you see me somewhere else, you’ll probably be able to tell it’s the same person behind the screen. No scammer I know of is going to take the time to put all this together (and keep adding to it) just for the sake of fooling some folks. The fact that the info here can also make you a better client is just icing on the cake for me.
Another thing to make note of is which sites you’re seeing someone on. For example, my favorite directory site, Tryst, has a pretty solid screening process before they allow someone to list themselves there. Others are not so thorough, and still others pull their ads from other sites all together, rather than the people being advertised opting to put themselves there. Tryst also has a blog that has helpful articles about topics like this one as does another site on which I am listed, Skip the Games (although I prefer Tryst as it is run by SWers for SWers).
Another thing to check is pictures. Are all the pictures clearly of the same person? For me, it’s pretty easy, since much of my focus is on my feet, and my tattoo and birth mark are pretty tell-tale.
Some providers invite or allow you to have a quick conversation with them on the phone or a cam call (some, in fact, require it), so if that’s something that would help put your mind at ease, you can request that– just be ready to pay them for their time! I work most days on NiteFlirt, where I make a good part of my living talking to horny guys, so no, it would not be smart to expect me to do it for free. Even if a provider does offer it for free, giving them a small something as a token of appreciation always goes over well.
Go forth and be informed...
These are just a few ideas, and I’ve given you some resources to do some further reading. Whether you choose to do it or not, I hope this helps you gain a bit of confidence that I am, in fact, a legit provider who just wants to be able to continue to grow her business and safely perform a job she loves, and confidence also that it is, in fact, possible to take some steps to ensure your own peace of mind when finding a provider. There are lots of us out there who truly love what we do, and I think the proof comes through if you actually look for it.